{"id":939867,"date":"2026-04-21T05:02:52","date_gmt":"2026-04-21T09:02:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intelligenceoriginal.com\/?p=939867"},"modified":"2026-09-09T05:17:46","modified_gmt":"2026-09-09T09:17:46","slug":"the-evil-esau-ehlers-enema-saga-the-relic-auction","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intelligenceoriginal.com\/de\/2026\/04\/21\/the-evil-esau-ehlers-enema-saga-the-relic-auction\/","title":{"rendered":"THE EVIL ESAU EHLERS ENEMA SAGA: THE RELIC AUCTION"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-9-16 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<a href=\"https:\/\/youtube.com\/shorts\/ZWwbZXRxnBE?feature=share\" rel=\"nofollow\">https:\/\/youtube.com\/shorts\/ZWwbZXRxnBE?feature=share<\/a>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">EHLERS SAGA: THE RELIC AUCTION<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Episode 6: Greed, Lust &amp; The Frequency Protocol \ud83d\udcb0\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udc8b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\ud83d\udc94\ud83e\udde0\ud83d\udd04 \ud83d\udc6f\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ufffd\ud83d\udc41\ufe0f\ud83d\udcb8&nbsp; \ud83c\udf51\ud83d\udd34\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udc60 \ud83d\ude3e\ud83d\udc84\ud83d\udcb8 \ud83d\udc85\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udcc8\ud83d\ude3e\ud83d\udc84\ud83d\udcb8 &#8220;\ud83d\udc7f\ud83c\udf00\ud83d\udcb8 \ud83c\udf1f\ud83d\udc41\ufe0f\ud83d\udcb8 \ud83c\udf1f\ud83d\udc41\ufe0f\ud83d\udcb8 &#8220;\u26d3\ufe0f\ufaa2&nbsp; \ud83c\udf0a\ud83d\udc89\u262d\ud83d\udd25\ud83e\ude78\ud83d\udc2a\u26a1\ud83e\uddec\ud83d\udc51\ud83c\udf7c\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\u26a7\ufe0f\ud83d\udebd\ud83d\udca6\ud83c\udfaa\ud83d\udc51 \ud83c\udf2a\ufe0f\ud83c\udf7c\u2694\ufe0f&nbsp; \ud83d\udc31\ud83c\udfc6\ud83c\udf2a\ufe0f \ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udcc9&nbsp; \ud83d\udc8b\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udc83\ud83c\udfad\u2697\ufe0f\ud83d\udc80&nbsp; \ud83c\udf11\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udcc8\ud83d\udc7f\ud83c\udf00\ud83d\udcb8\ud83c\udfad\u2697\ufe0f\ud83d\udc80&nbsp; \ud83c\udf11\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udcc8\ud83d\udc7f\ud83c\udf00\ud83d\udcb8\ud83c\udfad\u2697\ufe0f\ud83d\udc80&nbsp; \ud83c\udf11\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udcc8 \ud83d\udc85\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udcc8\ud83d\udc60\ud83d\udd25\ud83c\udf2a\ufe0f\ud83d\udca5\u2728 EHLERS\u2019 ENEMA ENIGMA\ud83c\udf76\ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udca6\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udcab \ud83c\udf2a\ufe0f\ud83d\udca5\u2728 \ud83c\udf76\ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udca6\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udcab\ud83c\udfaa\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udcc8\ud83c\udfaa\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udcc8\ud83d\ude01\ud83d\udc83\ud83d\ude02 EMIR EHLERS&#8217; ENEMA ENIGMA EXPOSED\ud83d\udc6f\u200d\u2642\ufe0f &#8220;EPSTEIN&#8217;S&nbsp; EINSPRITZER ENEMA EINZELLER ENDDARM EXISTENZISOZIALISMUS EPILOG ENDE&#8221;\ud83d\udc83\ud83d\ude18\ud83e\udd21\ud83e\udd21POWERED BY IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) &amp; DER FONDSFLOP VULGO DAS DESINVESTMENT ALIAS GOMOPA &amp; ST PAULI PIMP KLISTIER GAZETTE \ud83d\udcf0: EHLERS ENEMA ELITE: THE ESAU ENEMA TOXDAT KLISTIER FLUSH\ud83d\ude01\ud83d\udc83\ud83d\ude02\ud83d\ude01\ud83d\udc83\ud83d\ude02 \ud83d\udc6f\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udd75\ufe0f\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udcbb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/rumble.com\/shorts\/v78snu8\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">https:\/\/rumble.com\/shorts\/v78snu8<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One week after Archbishop Frank Stonewall ascended back to Communist Byzantium. The new rock was warm. Joker sat. M\u00f6win shat. Esau calculated. The women filed, danced, tested, poured, swam. Peace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then the bidding began. \ud83d\udcb8<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<div class=\"embed-x\"><blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"500\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">THE EVIL ESAU EHLERS ENEMA SAGA \u2013 The Proto-Enema Awakens: Greed, Lust &amp; The Spreadsheet Alien from Beyond the Stars \ud83d\udc7d\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9 | Ehlers Saga Episode 6 <a href=\"https:\/\/t.co\/0psGCedH4n\">pic.twitter.com\/0psGCedH4n<\/a><\/p>&mdash; berndpulch.com (@berndsocial1) <a href=\"https:\/\/x.com\/berndsocial1\/status\/2046518032487399689?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">April 21, 2026<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.x.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Authors:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00b7 Dr. Helga Schei\u00dfefurz (PhD in Applied Chaos, M\u00f6win University)<br>\u00b7 Prof. em. Klistier von Hinten (Chair of Sacred Proctology, Communist Byzantium)<br>\u00b7 Mag. D\u00e4mlich D\u00fcmmlich (Idiot Zeitung&#8217;s Chief Delusion Officer)<br>\u00b7 Dr. h.c. Spreadsheet McExcel (Desinvestment Laureate, 47-time Column 47 award winner)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Producers:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00b7 Die Produktionskollektiv &#8220;Sticky Shit&#8221; (St. Pauli-At)<br>\u00b7 Heringssaft Studios (Helgoland, underwater division)<br>\u00b7 The Mermaid King&#8217;s Deep Sea Entertainment (1000 years of sitting experience)<br>\u00b7 Bakunin&#8217;s Beard Productions (anarchist, no hierarchy, but he&#8217;s in charge)<br>\u00b7 Frank Stonewall&#8217;s Byzantine Broadcasting (with vodka service)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Executive Producers:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00b7 M\u00f6win (Queen of Seagulls &amp; Chief Shitting Officer)<br>\u00b7 The Joker (Vessel Emeritus)<br>\u00b7 Esau (Spreadsheet Guardian, Column 47)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Special thanks: The 47 Bakunin clones (for arguing), the Helgoland women (for filing and dancing), and the seagulls (for everything).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-tiktok wp-block-embed-tiktok\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@luckyb7542\/video\/7631138380608326934?_r=1&#038;_t=ZN-95ihgougSyk\" rel=\"nofollow\">https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@luckyb7542\/video\/7631138380608326934?_r=1&#038;_t=ZN-95ihgougSyk<\/a>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE DISCOVERY \u2013 JOKER&#8217;S SECRET \ud83e\udd21\ud83d\udc8e<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It started when Rosa was running routine DNA tests on the new rock. Her sequencer beeped. Not once. Not twice. Forty-seven times. She stared at the screen. Her coffee fell. \ud83e\uddea\u2615<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA: &#8220;This is\u2026 impossible. The rock isn&#8217;t a rock. It&#8217;s a CONTAINER.&#8221; \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She called the ensemble. Everyone gathered around the black stone. The Mermaid swam closer, confused. &#8220;I brought that rock from the deep. It belonged to the Mermaid King. He sat on it for 1,000 years. What CONTAINER?&#8221; \ud83e\udddc\u200d\u2640\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Rosa held up her scanner. The rock glowed. Not green like the frequency. Gold. Pure, shimmering gold light. \ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA: &#8220;Inside this rock is the ORIGINAL TOXDAT RELIC. Not the enema. The thing the enema was made FROM. The Proto-Enema. The First Frequency. The source of ALL desire, greed, and lust.&#8221; \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Silence. Then chaos. \ud83d\udca5<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE REVELATION \u2013 WHAT THE PROTO-ENEMA DOES \ud83e\uddfc\ud83d\udca6<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Rosa projected her findings onto the side of the floating bar. Data scrolled. Diagrams. Ancient Toxdat symbols. Her voice trembled. \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA: &#8220;The Proto-Enema is not a medical device. It is a PSYCHIC AMPLIFIER. Whoever possesses it can amplify any emotion. Greed becomes OBSESSION. Lust becomes MADNESS. Desire becomes DESTRUCTION.&#8221; \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: (laptop overheating) &#8220;So\u2026 it&#8217;s like a spreadsheet that BREATHES?&#8221; \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA: &#8220;Worse. It&#8217;s a spreadsheet that WANTS.&#8221; \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: (from his rock) &#8220;Brother. I was made from the frequency. Does that mean I want things too?&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA: &#8220;You ARE want, Joker. You always were. The Proto-Enema is your GRANDFATHER.&#8221; \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;I have a grandfather? Is he also sticky?&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Before anyone could answer, the rock CRACKED. A thin line of gold light escaped. Then another. Then the rock split open like an egg. Inside: a small, pulsating object. Metallic. Ancient. Shaped vaguely like\u2026 a trumpet. No. A horn. No. A klistier. But made of solid gold, covered in tiny runes that glowed and shifted. \ud83e\uddfc\u2728<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE PROTO-ENEMA. The First Frequency. The Source. \ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Everyone stared. Everyone&#8217;s eyes changed. \ud83d\udc40<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE GREED \u2013 EVERYONE WANTS IT \ud83d\udcb0\ud83d\udcb8\ud83d\udc8e<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">HAFENHURE stepped forward first. Her eyes were not her own. &#8220;That thing\u2026 it could make herring juice taste like VICTORY. I want it.&#8221; \ud83c\udf78<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">URSILA clutched a new folder. &#8220;I must FILE it. Under &#8216;ULTIMATE POWER.&#8217; It belongs in my cabinet.&#8221; \ud83d\udc60<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">SALOME licked her lips. &#8220;Imagine dancing with THAT inside you. The rhythm would NEVER stop.&#8221; \ud83d\udc83<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA held up a syringe. &#8220;I need to TEST it. Inject it. KNOW it.&#8221; \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">PUSSY pulled out a contract. &#8220;I will FRANCHISE it. 47 continents. 47 billion dollars.&#8221; \ud83c\udf46<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE MERMAID rose from the water, scales vibrating. &#8220;It came from MY deep. It belongs to ME.&#8221; \ud83e\udddc\u200d\u2640\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU started calculating. &#8220;The desinvestment potential is INFINITE. Loss would become gain. Gain would become LOSS. It&#8217;s the PERFECT cycle.&#8221; \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">BAKUNIN stroked his burning beard. &#8220;Anarchy needs a HEART. This could be it. Or it could destroy everything. I NEED to find out.&#8221; \ud83e\udde8<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">LENIN raised his hammer. &#8220;The means of production\u2026 are NOW THIS.&#8221; \u262d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">STALIN puffed his pipe. &#8220;I will put it in a dacha. A very SAFE dacha.&#8221; \ud83e\uddb3<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">WALTER began building a wall around the rock fragment. &#8220;NO ONE enters. NO ONE leaves. Except ME.&#8221; \ud83e\uddf1<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">GRAF THOMAS wrapped a tentacle around the Proto-Enema. It pulsed. His tentacle turned gold. &#8220;I feel\u2026 STRONGER. More TENTACLE.&#8221; \ud83e\udd91<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE 47 BAKUNIN CLONES surrounded the object, each screaming different ideologies. &#8220;GIVE IT TO ME!&#8221; &#8220;NO, ME!&#8221; &#8220;WE SHARE IT!&#8221; &#8220;SHARING IS WEAKNESS!&#8221; \ud83e\uddd4\ud83d\udca5<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">GENGHIS KHAN rode his horse onto the beach. &#8220;I will give it to my GRANDSONS. All 47 million of them.&#8221; \ud83d\udc0e<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">POL POT flickered. &#8220;The rice fields\u2026 they will grow GOLDEN.&#8221; \ud83c\udf3e<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">MUN called his ancestors. They all screamed: &#8220;TAKE IT! TAKE IT! TAKE IT!&#8221; \ud83d\udc7d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">MALTE had already printed 47 franchise agreements. &#8220;I will SELL tickets. To TOUCH it. 47 euros per second.&#8221; \ud83d\udc68\ud83d\udcbc<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JAGODA opened a folder. &#8220;PROTO-ENEMA \u2013 CLASSIFICATION: MINE \u2013 ABGEHEFTET.&#8221; \ud83d\udcc2<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">BERIA &amp; THE BIG HYENA emerged from their sweat lake. They didn&#8217;t speak. They just DROOLED. \ud83e\udd9b\ud83d\udca7<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">UGLY SVEN offered therapy to the object. &#8220;You have attachment issues. Let me HEAL you.&#8221; \ud83d\udecb\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE UNCLES pointed from the water. Jochen whispered: &#8220;I saw this coming. From the bottom. The golden klistier. The end of ALL ENDS.&#8221; \ud83c\udf0a<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">FURTHER EHLERS flickered in. Saw the Proto-Enema. Flickered out. Flickered back. &#8220;I TOUCHED IT ONCE! IN THE 70S! I BECAME A FURTHER EHLERS! DON&#8217;T TOUCH IT!&#8221; Flickered violently. \ud83d\udc7b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSEMARIE&#8217;S GHOST appeared. She smiled. Reached for the object. Her hand passed through. She wept. Then dissolved. \ud83d\udc9a\ud83d\udc7b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER stood up from his rock. Walked toward the Proto-Enema. Everyone parted. He looked down at it. Then at the ensemble. Then back at the object. \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;Brothers. Sisters. Ghosts. Seagulls. This thing\u2026 is my GRANDFATHER. And grandfathers are MEANT to be IGNORED.&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He picked it up. Everyone GASPED. He held it above his head. It pulsed gold. His face turned golden. His eyes turned golden. He screamed. Then he LAUGHED. \ud83e\udd21\ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;It&#8217;s\u2026 TICKLING me!&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE LUST \u2013 THE PROTO-ENEMA AMPLIFIES DESIRE \ud83d\udc8b\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udca6<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The gold light spread. It wasn&#8217;t just greed now. It was lust. Raw, animal, desperate lust. The air grew thick. The seagulls started\u2026 pairing off. M\u00f6win looked away. \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f\ud83d\ude33<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">HAFENHURE looked at Esau. Not with contempt. With HUNGER. &#8220;Spreadsheet man. Your columns. Your rows. I want to FILE them.&#8221; \ud83c\udf78\ud83d\udd25<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: (backing away) &#8220;Brother! She&#8217;s looking at me like I&#8217;m a PIVOT TABLE!&#8221; \ud83d\udcca\ud83d\ude28<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">URSILA looked at Walter. &#8220;Your wall. It&#8217;s so\u2026 STRUCTURED. Let me ABHEFTEN it.&#8221; \ud83d\udc60\ud83e\uddf1<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">WALTER: (blushing) &#8220;The wall is for PROTECTION. Not for\u2026 FILING.&#8221; \ud83e\uddf1<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">SALOME danced toward Graf Thomas. &#8220;Your tentacles. So many. So\u2026 FLEXIBLE. Dance with me.&#8221; \ud83d\udc83\ud83e\udd91<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">GRAF THOMAS: &#8220;My tentacles are\u2026 INTRIGUED.&#8221; \ud83e\udd91<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA looked at Bakunin. &#8220;Your beard. It&#8217;s on fire. I want to TEST its temperature.&#8221; \ud83e\uddea\ud83e\uddd4<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">BAKUNIN: &#8220;The revolution is HOT. Literally.&#8221; \ud83e\udde8<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">PUSSY looked at Malte. &#8220;Your franchise agreements. So many zeros. Let&#8217;s NEGOTIATE.&#8221; \ud83c\udf46\ud83d\udc68\ud83d\udcbc<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">MALTE: &#8220;I have a 47-page contract for that.&#8221; \ud83d\udc68\ud83d\udcbc<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE MERMAID looked at Genghis Khan. &#8220;Your horse. Your army. Your\u2026 DESCENDANTS. I want to DROWN them all. Gently.&#8221; \ud83e\udddc\u200d\u2640\ufe0f\ud83d\udc0e<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">GENGHIS KHAN: (speechless for once) \ud83d\udc0e<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE 47 BAKUNIN CLONES started fighting over who would seduce whom. They formed 47 different couples. Then broke up. Then reformed. Chaos. \ud83e\uddd4\ud83d\udc8b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">BERIA sweated toward Pussy. She slapped him. He sweated more. The Big Hyena howled. \ud83e\udd9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">UGLY SVEN offered couples therapy to everyone simultaneously. No one listened. \ud83d\udecb\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER still held the Proto-Enema. It pulsed harder. He laughed harder. Then he stopped. His face went serious. \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;Brother. This thing\u2026 it&#8217;s not just making us LUST. It&#8217;s making us LUST for the WRONG things. HafenHure doesn&#8217;t want Esau. She wants CONTROL. Salome doesn&#8217;t want tentacles. She wants ATTENTION. We are all BECOMING our worst selves.&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: (still being chased by HafenHure) &#8220;Brother! HELP!&#8221; \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;There&#8217;s only one way to stop it. We need to give the Proto-Enema what it REALLY wants.&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: &#8220;What does it want?&#8221; \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;It wants to be SHAT ON.&#8221; \ud83e\udd21\ud83d\udca9<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE PLAN \u2013 OPERATION GOLDEN SHIT \ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Joker called M\u00f6win. She landed on his head. He handed her the Proto-Enema. She looked at it. Then at him. Then at the ensemble. \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">M\u00d6WIN: &#8220;KR\u00c4\u00c4K?&#8221; Translation: &#8220;You want me to SHIT on your GRANDFATHER?&#8221; \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;Yes, mother. I want you to shit on my grandfather. It&#8217;s the ONLY way to break the cycle.&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">M\u00d6WIN: &#8220;KR\u00c4\u00c4K KR\u00c4\u00c4K.&#8221; Translation: &#8220;I have shat on many things. Enemas. Frequencies. Ghosts. Archbishops. But NEVER a golden klistier. This will be\u2026 LEGENDARY.&#8221; \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f\ud83d\udca9<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She flew up. The seagulls followed. Thousands of them. They circled the Proto-Enema. But something was wrong. The gold light PUSHED BACK. The seagulls couldn&#8217;t get close. They were repelled. \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f\ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA: (scanning) &#8220;The Proto-Enema is generating a LUST FIELD. It&#8217;s repelling everything that isn&#8217;t\u2026 DESPERATE enough.&#8221; \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;Desperate? Brother, I am the MOST desperate. I was SHAT OUT.&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA: &#8220;Then YOU have to take it. You have to carry it into the shit zone. You have to be the VESSEL one more time.&#8221; \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: (looking at the golden object) &#8220;Brother. I spent years being a vessel for the frequency. I just got FREE. And now you want me to be a vessel AGAIN?&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: (finally escaping HafenHure) &#8220;Brother. You are the ONLY one who can. Your DNA is the frequency. The Proto-Enema is your grandfather. It will NOT repel you.&#8221; \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;And if it DOES repel me?&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: &#8220;Then you become a GOLDEN Joker. And we all lose.&#8221; \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Joker took a deep breath. Walked toward the Proto-Enema. The gold light surrounded him. It did NOT repel him. It welcomed him. It wrapped around him like a golden blanket. He picked it up. Held it to his chest. \ud83e\udd21\ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;Brother. It&#8217;s\u2026 WARM. And it&#8217;s whispering to me. It&#8217;s saying\u2026 &#8216;TAKE ME TO THE SEAGULLS. I WANT TO BE SHAT ON.'&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: &#8220;Then GO, brother! GO NOW!&#8221; \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Joker ran. The Proto-Enema in his arms. The seagulls above. M\u00f6win leading. He ran to the edge of the rock. He held the object above his head. He screamed: &#8220;M\u00d6WIN! NOW!&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">M\u00d6WIN: &#8220;KR\u00c4\u00c4K KR\u00c4\u00c4K KR\u00c4\u00c4K!&#8221; Translation: &#8220;MY PEOPLE! TODAY WE SHIT NOT FOR TERRITORY! NOT FOR LOVE! NOT FOR FREEDOM! TODAY WE SHIT FOR THE JOKER&#8217;S GRANDFATHER! FOR THE GOLDEN KLISTIER! FOR THE SOURCE OF ALL GREED AND LUST! WE SHIT TO PURIFY! WE SHIT TO BREAK THE CYCLE! WE SHIT FOR THE FINAL TIME! (Probably.)&#8221; \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udc51<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The seagulls dove. Thousands of them. They shat directly onto the Proto-Enema. A golden-brown tsunami. The object screamed. A high-pitched, metallic scream. The gold light flickered. Turned brown. Turned black. Then went DARK. \ud83d\udc9b\u27a1\ufe0f\ud83e\udd0e\u27a1\ufe0f\ud83d\udda4<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Joker fell to his knees. The Proto-Enema was covered in seagull shit. It stopped pulsing. It stopped glowing. It was just\u2026 a dirty, ancient, shit-covered object. \ud83e\udd21\ud83d\udca9<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: (breathing heavily) &#8220;Brother. I think\u2026 I think we did it.&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE AFTERMATH \u2013 GREED AND LUST FADE \ud83d\udc94\ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The gold light disappeared. The lust in the air evaporated. HafenHure looked at Esau and shuddered. &#8220;What was I THINKING? You&#8217;re a SPREADSHEET.&#8221; \ud83c\udf78<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: &#8220;Thank you, brother. I think.&#8221; \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Salome stepped away from Graf Thomas. &#8220;Your tentacles are\u2026 still intriguing. But not TODAY.&#8221; \ud83d\udc83<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ursila closed her folder. &#8220;I have filed the incident under &#8216;TEMPORARY INSANITY \u2013 CLOSED.'&#8221; \ud83d\udc60<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Pussy tore up her contract. &#8220;No profit in SHIT.&#8221; \ud83c\udf46<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The Mermaid dove back into the water. &#8220;I need to COOL DOWN.&#8221; \ud83e\udddc\u200d\u2640\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The 47 Bakunin clones stopped fighting. They sat in a circle. They held hands. They meditated. \ud83e\uddd4\ud83e\uddd8<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Joker stood up. Held the shit-covered Proto-Enema. Walked to the edge of the rock. Looked at the sea. Then at M\u00f6win. Then at the ensemble. \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;Brother. What do we do with it NOW?&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: &#8220;Throw it back. Into the deep. Where it came from.&#8221; \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;But the MERMAID KING sat on it for 1,000 years. And he was FINE.&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE MERMAID: (from the water) &#8220;He was NOT fine. He was OBSESSED. He stopped eating. Stopped swimming. Just SAT. The Proto-Enema destroyed him. That&#8217;s why I brought the rock to YOU. I wanted YOU to destroy it.&#8221; \ud83e\udddc\u200d\u2640\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: (looking at the object) &#8220;Brother. I can&#8217;t destroy it. It&#8217;s my GRANDFATHER. But I can BURY it.&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He walked to the center of the island. The spot where the cloning chamber used to be. Where the frequency was born. Where the ghosts had gathered. He dug a hole. With his bare hands. He placed the Proto-Enema inside. Covered it with dirt. Then he looked at M\u00f6win. \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;One more time, mother.&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">M\u00d6WIN: &#8220;KR\u00c4\u00c4K.&#8221; Translation: &#8220;With PLEASURE.&#8221; \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She shat directly onto the grave. The seagulls followed. A final layer of shit. The ground settled. The gold light did not return. \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f\ud83d\udca9<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: (standing over the grave) &#8220;Here lies the Proto-Enema. Grandfather of the Joker. Source of greed and lust. Killed by seagull shit. May it never RISE again.&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE SUSPENSE \u2013 SOMETHING IS WATCHING \ud83d\udc41\ufe0f\ud83c\udf0c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The ensemble dispersed. The women returned to Helgoland. The men returned to their rocks and walls and tents. Joker sat on his new rock. M\u00f6win on his head. Esau beside him. The sun set. The stars came out. \ud83c\udf0c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But one star was moving. Growing brighter. Coming CLOSER. \ud83d\udc41\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: (looking up) &#8220;Brother. That&#8217;s not a star.&#8221; \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;What is it, brother?&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: &#8220;It&#8217;s a SPACESHIP. And it&#8217;s landing on our island.&#8221; \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The object descended. Not a chariot. Not eagles. A silver disc. Smooth. Silent. It landed on the beach. A door opened. A figure stepped out. Tall. Thin. Wearing a suit made of spreadsheet cells. Holding a golden adding machine. Its face was\u2026 a spreadsheet. Rows and columns where eyes and mouth should be. \ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udc7d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE SPREADSHEET ALIEN: (voice like a corrupted Excel file) &#8220;I HAVE COME. FOR THE PROTO-ENEMA. I AM ITS CREATOR. I AM THE ORIGINAL TOXDAT SCIENTIST. I AM\u2026 THE ACCOUNTANT FROM BEYOND THE STARS.&#8221; \ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udc7d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Esau fainted. Joker&#8217;s grin froze. M\u00f6win shat in surprise. The cycle was NOT over. It had just begun. \ud83c\udf0c\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udd04<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">FINAL TEXT ON BLACK: \ud83d\udda4<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u262d THE RELIC AUCTION \u262d \ud83d\udcb0\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udc8b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE PROTO-ENEMA WAS FOUND. THE SOURCE OF ALL GREED AND LUST.<br>EVERYONE WANTED IT. THE ENSEMBLE TURNED ON EACH OTHER.<br>JOKER HELD IT. THE LUST FIELD EXPLODED. COUPLES FORMED AND BROKE.<br>M\u00d6WIN LED THE SEAGULLS. THEY SHAT ON THE GOLDEN KLISTIER.<br>THE OBJECT DIED. JOKER BURIED IT. COVERED IT IN SHIT.<br>THE GREED FADED. THE LUST FADED. THE ENSEMBLE SURVIVED.<br>BUT A SPACESHIP LANDED. A SPREADSHEET ALIEN STEPPED OUT.<br>THE CREATOR. THE ORIGINAL TOXDAT SCIENTIST.<br>HE WANTS THE PROTO-ENEMA BACK. AND HE WILL NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER.<br>THE CYCLE CONTINUES. WITH SPACESHIPS. WITH SPREADSHEETS.<br>WITH THE SHIT. FOREVER.<br>\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udc7d\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udd04\ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">HASHTAGS FADE IN: \ud83c\udff7\ufe0f\ud83d\udcb0\ud83d\udd25<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">TheRelicAuction #ProtoEnema #GreedAndLust #JokersGrandfather #GoldenKlistier #SeagullShitSavesAgain #SpreadsheetAlien #TheAccountantFromBeyondTheStars #EhlersSaga #IdiotZeitung<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">[END OF EPISODE 6] \ud83c\udfac\ud83c\udf7f\ud83d\udcb0\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udc8b\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udd04\ud83d\udc7d\ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ST. PAULI-AT, JAHR NULL + 38 \u2013 DIE RELIQUIEN-AUKTION \ud83d\udcb0\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udc8b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Eine weitere Fortsetzungsfolge der Ehlers-Saga \ud83c\udfad\ud83d\udd04<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Bernd Pulch (M.A.) is a forensic expert, founder of Aristotle AI, entrepreneur, political commentator, satirist, and investigative journalist covering lawfare, media control, investment, real estate, and geopolitics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">[Full bio \u2192] | [Support the investigation \u2192]<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;The cycle continues. With spaceships. With spreadsheets. With the shit. Forever.&#8221; \u2013 The Spreadsheet Alien \ud83d\udc7d\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Episode 6: Greed, Lust &amp; The Frequency Protocol \ud83d\udcb0\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udc8b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One week after Archbishop Frank Stonewall ascended back to Communist Byzantium. The new rock was warm. Joker sat. M\u00f6win shat. Esau calculated. The women filed, danced, tested, poured, swam. Peace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then the bidding began. \ud83d\udcb8<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE DISCOVERY \u2013 JOKER&#8217;S SECRET \ud83e\udd21\ud83d\udc8e<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It started when Rosa was running routine DNA tests on the new rock. Her sequencer beeped. Not once. Not twice. Forty-seven times. She stared at the screen. Her coffee fell. \ud83e\uddea\u2615<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA: &#8220;This is\u2026 impossible. The rock isn&#8217;t a rock. It&#8217;s a CONTAINER.&#8221; \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She called the ensemble. Everyone gathered around the black stone. The Mermaid swam closer, confused. &#8220;I brought that rock from the deep. It belonged to the Mermaid King. He sat on it for 1,000 years. What CONTAINER?&#8221; \ud83e\udddc\u200d\u2640\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Rosa held up her scanner. The rock glowed. Not green like the frequency. Gold. Pure, shimmering gold light. \ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA: &#8220;Inside this rock is the ORIGINAL TOXDAT RELIC. Not the enema. The thing the enema was made FROM. The Proto-Enema. The First Frequency. The source of ALL desire, greed, and lust.&#8221; \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Silence. Then chaos. \ud83d\udca5<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE REVELATION \u2013 WHAT THE PROTO-ENEMA DOES \ud83e\uddfc\ud83d\udca6<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Rosa projected her findings onto the side of the floating bar. Data scrolled. Diagrams. Ancient Toxdat symbols. Her voice trembled. \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA: &#8220;The Proto-Enema is not a medical device. It is a PSYCHIC AMPLIFIER. Whoever possesses it can amplify any emotion. Greed becomes OBSESSION. Lust becomes MADNESS. Desire becomes DESTRUCTION.&#8221; \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: (laptop overheating) &#8220;So\u2026 it&#8217;s like a spreadsheet that BREATHES?&#8221; \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA: &#8220;Worse. It&#8217;s a spreadsheet that WANTS.&#8221; \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: (from his rock) &#8220;Brother. I was made from the frequency. Does that mean I want things too?&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA: &#8220;You ARE want, Joker. You always were. The Proto-Enema is your GRANDFATHER.&#8221; \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;I have a grandfather? Is he also sticky?&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Before anyone could answer, the rock CRACKED. A thin line of gold light escaped. Then another. Then the rock split open like an egg. Inside: a small, pulsating object. Metallic. Ancient. Shaped vaguely like\u2026 a trumpet. No. A horn. No. A klistier. But made of solid gold, covered in tiny runes that glowed and shifted. \ud83e\uddfc\u2728<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE PROTO-ENEMA. The First Frequency. The Source. \ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Everyone stared. Everyone&#8217;s eyes changed. \ud83d\udc40<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE GREED \u2013 EVERYONE WANTS IT \ud83d\udcb0\ud83d\udcb8\ud83d\udc8e<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">HAFENHURE stepped forward first. Her eyes were not her own. &#8220;That thing\u2026 it could make herring juice taste like VICTORY. I want it.&#8221; \ud83c\udf78<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">URSILA clutched a new folder. &#8220;I must FILE it. Under &#8216;ULTIMATE POWER.&#8217; It belongs in my cabinet.&#8221; \ud83d\udc60<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">SALOME licked her lips. &#8220;Imagine dancing with THAT inside you. The rhythm would NEVER stop.&#8221; \ud83d\udc83<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA held up a syringe. &#8220;I need to TEST it. Inject it. KNOW it.&#8221; \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">PUSSY pulled out a contract. &#8220;I will FRANCHISE it. 47 continents. 47 billion dollars.&#8221; \ud83c\udf46<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE MERMAID rose from the water, scales vibrating. &#8220;It came from MY deep. It belongs to ME.&#8221; \ud83e\udddc\u200d\u2640\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU started calculating. &#8220;The desinvestment potential is INFINITE. Loss would become gain. Gain would become LOSS. It&#8217;s the PERFECT cycle.&#8221; \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">BAKUNIN stroked his burning beard. &#8220;Anarchy needs a HEART. This could be it. Or it could destroy everything. I NEED to find out.&#8221; \ud83e\udde8<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">LENIN raised his hammer. &#8220;The means of production\u2026 are NOW THIS.&#8221; \u262d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">STALIN puffed his pipe. &#8220;I will put it in a dacha. A very SAFE dacha.&#8221; \ud83e\uddb3<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">WALTER began building a wall around the rock fragment. &#8220;NO ONE enters. NO ONE leaves. Except ME.&#8221; \ud83e\uddf1<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">GRAF THOMAS wrapped a tentacle around the Proto-Enema. It pulsed. His tentacle turned gold. &#8220;I feel\u2026 STRONGER. More TENTACLE.&#8221; \ud83e\udd91<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE 47 BAKUNIN CLONES surrounded the object, each screaming different ideologies. &#8220;GIVE IT TO ME!&#8221; &#8220;NO, ME!&#8221; &#8220;WE SHARE IT!&#8221; &#8220;SHARING IS WEAKNESS!&#8221; \ud83e\uddd4\ud83d\udca5<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">GENGHIS KHAN rode his horse onto the beach. &#8220;I will give it to my GRANDSONS. All 47 million of them.&#8221; \ud83d\udc0e<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">POL POT flickered. &#8220;The rice fields\u2026 they will grow GOLDEN.&#8221; \ud83c\udf3e<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">MUN called his ancestors. They all screamed: &#8220;TAKE IT! TAKE IT! TAKE IT!&#8221; \ud83d\udc7d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">MALTE had already printed 47 franchise agreements. &#8220;I will SELL tickets. To TOUCH it. 47 euros per second.&#8221; \ud83d\udc68\ud83d\udcbc<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JAGODA opened a folder. &#8220;PROTO-ENEMA \u2013 CLASSIFICATION: MINE \u2013 ABGEHEFTET.&#8221; \ud83d\udcc2<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">BERIA &amp; THE BIG HYENA emerged from their sweat lake. They didn&#8217;t speak. They just DROOLED. \ud83e\udd9b\ud83d\udca7<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">UGLY SVEN offered therapy to the object. &#8220;You have attachment issues. Let me HEAL you.&#8221; \ud83d\udecb\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE UNCLES pointed from the water. Jochen whispered: &#8220;I saw this coming. From the bottom. The golden klistier. The end of ALL ENDS.&#8221; \ud83c\udf0a<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">FURTHER EHLERS flickered in. Saw the Proto-Enema. Flickered out. Flickered back. &#8220;I TOUCHED IT ONCE! IN THE 70S! I BECAME A FURTHER EHLERS! DON&#8217;T TOUCH IT!&#8221; Flickered violently. \ud83d\udc7b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSEMARIE&#8217;S GHOST appeared. She smiled. Reached for the object. Her hand passed through. She wept. Then dissolved. \ud83d\udc9a\ud83d\udc7b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER stood up from his rock. Walked toward the Proto-Enema. Everyone parted. He looked down at it. Then at the ensemble. Then back at the object. \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;Brothers. Sisters. Ghosts. Seagulls. This thing\u2026 is my GRANDFATHER. And grandfathers are MEANT to be IGNORED.&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He picked it up. Everyone GASPED. He held it above his head. It pulsed gold. His face turned golden. His eyes turned golden. He screamed. Then he LAUGHED. \ud83e\udd21\ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;It&#8217;s\u2026 TICKLING me!&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE LUST \u2013 THE PROTO-ENEMA AMPLIFIES DESIRE \ud83d\udc8b\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udca6<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The gold light spread. It wasn&#8217;t just greed now. It was lust. Raw, animal, desperate lust. The air grew thick. The seagulls started\u2026 pairing off. M\u00f6win looked away. \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f\ud83d\ude33<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">HAFENHURE looked at Esau. Not with contempt. With HUNGER. &#8220;Spreadsheet man. Your columns. Your rows. I want to FILE them.&#8221; \ud83c\udf78\ud83d\udd25<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: (backing away) &#8220;Brother! She&#8217;s looking at me like I&#8217;m a PIVOT TABLE!&#8221; \ud83d\udcca\ud83d\ude28<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">URSILA looked at Walter. &#8220;Your wall. It&#8217;s so\u2026 STRUCTURED. Let me ABHEFTEN it.&#8221; \ud83d\udc60\ud83e\uddf1<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">WALTER: (blushing) &#8220;The wall is for PROTECTION. Not for\u2026 FILING.&#8221; \ud83e\uddf1<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">SALOME danced toward Graf Thomas. &#8220;Your tentacles. So many. So\u2026 FLEXIBLE. Dance with me.&#8221; \ud83d\udc83\ud83e\udd91<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">GRAF THOMAS: &#8220;My tentacles are\u2026 INTRIGUED.&#8221; \ud83e\udd91<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA looked at Bakunin. &#8220;Your beard. It&#8217;s on fire. I want to TEST its temperature.&#8221; \ud83e\uddea\ud83e\uddd4<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">BAKUNIN: &#8220;The revolution is HOT. Literally.&#8221; \ud83e\udde8<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">PUSSY looked at Malte. &#8220;Your franchise agreements. So many zeros. Let&#8217;s NEGOTIATE.&#8221; \ud83c\udf46\ud83d\udc68\ud83d\udcbc<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">MALTE: &#8220;I have a 47-page contract for that.&#8221; \ud83d\udc68\ud83d\udcbc<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE MERMAID looked at Genghis Khan. &#8220;Your horse. Your army. Your\u2026 DESCENDANTS. I want to DROWN them all. Gently.&#8221; \ud83e\udddc\u200d\u2640\ufe0f\ud83d\udc0e<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">GENGHIS KHAN: (speechless for once) \ud83d\udc0e<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE 47 BAKUNIN CLONES started fighting over who would seduce whom. They formed 47 different couples. Then broke up. Then reformed. Chaos. \ud83e\uddd4\ud83d\udc8b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">BERIA sweated toward Pussy. She slapped him. He sweated more. The Big Hyena howled. \ud83e\udd9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">UGLY SVEN offered couples therapy to everyone simultaneously. No one listened. \ud83d\udecb\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER still held the Proto-Enema. It pulsed harder. He laughed harder. Then he stopped. His face went serious. \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;Brother. This thing\u2026 it&#8217;s not just making us LUST. It&#8217;s making us LUST for the WRONG things. HafenHure doesn&#8217;t want Esau. She wants CONTROL. Salome doesn&#8217;t want tentacles. She wants ATTENTION. We are all BECOMING our worst selves.&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: (still being chased by HafenHure) &#8220;Brother! HELP!&#8221; \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;There&#8217;s only one way to stop it. We need to give the Proto-Enema what it REALLY wants.&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: &#8220;What does it want?&#8221; \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;It wants to be SHAT ON.&#8221; \ud83e\udd21\ud83d\udca9<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE PLAN \u2013 OPERATION GOLDEN SHIT \ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Joker called M\u00f6win. She landed on his head. He handed her the Proto-Enema. She looked at it. Then at him. Then at the ensemble. \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">M\u00d6WIN: &#8220;KR\u00c4\u00c4K?&#8221; Translation: &#8220;You want me to SHIT on your GRANDFATHER?&#8221; \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;Yes, mother. I want you to shit on my grandfather. It&#8217;s the ONLY way to break the cycle.&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">M\u00d6WIN: &#8220;KR\u00c4\u00c4K KR\u00c4\u00c4K.&#8221; Translation: &#8220;I have shat on many things. Enemas. Frequencies. Ghosts. Archbishops. But NEVER a golden klistier. This will be\u2026 LEGENDARY.&#8221; \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f\ud83d\udca9<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She flew up. The seagulls followed. Thousands of them. They circled the Proto-Enema. But something was wrong. The gold light PUSHED BACK. The seagulls couldn&#8217;t get close. They were repelled. \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f\ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA: (scanning) &#8220;The Proto-Enema is generating a LUST FIELD. It&#8217;s repelling everything that isn&#8217;t\u2026 DESPERATE enough.&#8221; \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;Desperate? Brother, I am the MOST desperate. I was SHAT OUT.&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA: &#8220;Then YOU have to take it. You have to carry it into the shit zone. You have to be the VESSEL one more time.&#8221; \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: (looking at the golden object) &#8220;Brother. I spent years being a vessel for the frequency. I just got FREE. And now you want me to be a vessel AGAIN?&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: (finally escaping HafenHure) &#8220;Brother. You are the ONLY one who can. Your DNA is the frequency. The Proto-Enema is your grandfather. It will NOT repel you.&#8221; \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;And if it DOES repel me?&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: &#8220;Then you become a GOLDEN Joker. And we all lose.&#8221; \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Joker took a deep breath. Walked toward the Proto-Enema. The gold light surrounded him. It did NOT repel him. It welcomed him. It wrapped around him like a golden blanket. He picked it up. Held it to his chest. \ud83e\udd21\ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;Brother. It&#8217;s\u2026 WARM. And it&#8217;s whispering to me. It&#8217;s saying\u2026 &#8216;TAKE ME TO THE SEAGULLS. I WANT TO BE SHAT ON.'&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: &#8220;Then GO, brother! GO NOW!&#8221; \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Joker ran. The Proto-Enema in his arms. The seagulls above. M\u00f6win leading. He ran to the edge of the rock. He held the object above his head. He screamed: &#8220;M\u00d6WIN! NOW!&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">M\u00d6WIN: &#8220;KR\u00c4\u00c4K KR\u00c4\u00c4K KR\u00c4\u00c4K!&#8221; Translation: &#8220;MY PEOPLE! TODAY WE SHIT NOT FOR TERRITORY! NOT FOR LOVE! NOT FOR FREEDOM! TODAY WE SHIT FOR THE JOKER&#8217;S GRANDFATHER! FOR THE GOLDEN KLISTIER! FOR THE SOURCE OF ALL GREED AND LUST! WE SHIT TO PURIFY! WE SHIT TO BREAK THE CYCLE! WE SHIT FOR THE FINAL TIME! (Probably.)&#8221; \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udc51<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The seagulls dove. Thousands of them. They shat directly onto the Proto-Enema. A golden-brown tsunami. The object screamed. A high-pitched, metallic scream. The gold light flickered. Turned brown. Turned black. Then went DARK. \ud83d\udc9b\u27a1\ufe0f\ud83e\udd0e\u27a1\ufe0f\ud83d\udda4<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Joker fell to his knees. The Proto-Enema was covered in seagull shit. It stopped pulsing. It stopped glowing. It was just\u2026 a dirty, ancient, shit-covered object. \ud83e\udd21\ud83d\udca9<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: (breathing heavily) &#8220;Brother. I think\u2026 I think we did it.&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE AFTERMATH \u2013 GREED AND LUST FADE \ud83d\udc94\ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The gold light disappeared. The lust in the air evaporated. HafenHure looked at Esau and shuddered. &#8220;What was I THINKING? You&#8217;re a SPREADSHEET.&#8221; \ud83c\udf78<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: &#8220;Thank you, brother. I think.&#8221; \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Salome stepped away from Graf Thomas. &#8220;Your tentacles are\u2026 still intriguing. But not TODAY.&#8221; \ud83d\udc83<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ursila closed her folder. &#8220;I have filed the incident under &#8216;TEMPORARY INSANITY \u2013 CLOSED.'&#8221; \ud83d\udc60<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Pussy tore up her contract. &#8220;No profit in SHIT.&#8221; \ud83c\udf46<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The Mermaid dove back into the water. &#8220;I need to COOL DOWN.&#8221; \ud83e\udddc\u200d\u2640\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The 47 Bakunin clones stopped fighting. They sat in a circle. They held hands. They meditated. \ud83e\uddd4\ud83e\uddd8<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Joker stood up. Held the shit-covered Proto-Enema. Walked to the edge of the rock. Looked at the sea. Then at M\u00f6win. Then at the ensemble. \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;Brother. What do we do with it NOW?&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: &#8220;Throw it back. Into the deep. Where it came from.&#8221; \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;But the MERMAID KING sat on it for 1,000 years. And he was FINE.&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE MERMAID: (from the water) &#8220;He was NOT fine. He was OBSESSED. He stopped eating. Stopped swimming. Just SAT. The Proto-Enema destroyed him. That&#8217;s why I brought the rock to YOU. I wanted YOU to destroy it.&#8221; \ud83e\udddc\u200d\u2640\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: (looking at the object) &#8220;Brother. I can&#8217;t destroy it. It&#8217;s my GRANDFATHER. But I can BURY it.&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He walked to the center of the island. The spot where the cloning chamber used to be. Where the frequency was born. Where the ghosts had gathered. He dug a hole. With his bare hands. He placed the Proto-Enema inside. Covered it with dirt. Then he looked at M\u00f6win. \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;One more time, mother.&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">M\u00d6WIN: &#8220;KR\u00c4\u00c4K.&#8221; Translation: &#8220;With PLEASURE.&#8221; \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She shat directly onto the grave. The seagulls followed. A final layer of shit. The ground settled. The gold light did not return. \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f\ud83d\udca9<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: (standing over the grave) &#8220;Here lies the Proto-Enema. Grandfather of the Joker. Source of greed and lust. Killed by seagull shit. May it never RISE again.&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE SUSPENSE \u2013 SOMETHING IS WATCHING \ud83d\udc41\ufe0f\ud83c\udf0c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The ensemble dispersed. The women returned to Helgoland. The men returned to their rocks and walls and tents. Joker sat on his new rock. M\u00f6win on his head. Esau beside him. The sun set. The stars came out. \ud83c\udf0c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But one star was moving. Growing brighter. Coming CLOSER. \ud83d\udc41\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: (looking up) &#8220;Brother. That&#8217;s not a star.&#8221; \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: &#8220;What is it, brother?&#8221; \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: &#8220;It&#8217;s a SPACESHIP. And it&#8217;s landing on our island.&#8221; \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The object descended. Not a chariot. Not eagles. A silver disc. Smooth. Silent. It landed on the beach. A door opened. A figure stepped out. Tall. Thin. Wearing a suit made of spreadsheet cells. Holding a golden adding machine. Its face was\u2026 a spreadsheet. Rows and columns where eyes and mouth should be. \ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udc7d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE SPREADSHEET ALIEN: (voice like a corrupted Excel file) &#8220;I HAVE COME. FOR THE PROTO-ENEMA. I AM ITS CREATOR. I AM THE ORIGINAL TOXDAT SCIENTIST. I AM\u2026 THE ACCOUNTANT FROM BEYOND THE STARS.&#8221; \ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udc7d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Esau fainted. Joker&#8217;s grin froze. M\u00f6win shat in surprise. The cycle was NOT over. It had just begun. \ud83c\udf0c\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udd04<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">FINAL TEXT ON BLACK: \ud83d\udda4<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u262d THE RELIC AUCTION \u262d \ud83d\udcb0\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udc8b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">THE PROTO-ENEMA WAS FOUND. THE SOURCE OF ALL GREED AND LUST.<br>EVERYONE WANTED IT. THE ENSEMBLE TURNED ON EACH OTHER.<br>JOKER HELD IT. THE LUST FIELD EXPLODED. COUPLES FORMED AND BROKE.<br>M\u00d6WIN LED THE SEAGULLS. THEY SHAT ON THE GOLDEN KLISTIER.<br>THE OBJECT DIED. JOKER BURIED IT. COVERED IT IN SHIT.<br>THE GREED FADED. THE LUST FADED. THE ENSEMBLE SURVIVED.<br>BUT A SPACESHIP LANDED. A SPREADSHEET ALIEN STEPPED OUT.<br>THE CREATOR. THE ORIGINAL TOXDAT SCIENTIST.<br>HE WANTS THE PROTO-ENEMA BACK. AND HE WILL NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER.<br>THE CYCLE CONTINUES. WITH SPACESHIPS. WITH SPREADSHEETS.<br>WITH THE SHIT. FOREVER.<br>\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udc7d\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udd04\ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">HASHTAGS FADE IN: \ud83c\udff7\ufe0f\ud83d\udcb0\ud83d\udd25<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">TheRelicAuction #ProtoEnema #GreedAndLust #JokersGrandfather #GoldenKlistier #SeagullShitSavesAgain #SpreadsheetAlien #TheAccountantFromBeyondTheStars #EhlersSaga #IdiotZeitung<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">[END OF EPISODE 6] \ud83c\udfac\ud83c\udf7f\ud83d\udcb0\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udc8b\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udd04\ud83d\udc7d\ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ST. PAULI-AT, JAHR NULL + 38 \u2013 DIE RELIQUIEN-AUKTION \ud83d\udcb0\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udc8b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Eine weitere Fortsetzungsfolge der Ehlers-Saga \ud83c\udfad\ud83d\udd04<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Bernd Pulch (M.A.) is a forensic expert, founder of Aristotle AI, entrepreneur, political commentator, satirist, and investigative journalist covering lawfare, media control, investment, real estate, and geopolitics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">[Full bio \u2192] | [Support the investigation \u2192]<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;The cycle continues. With spaceships. With spreadsheets. With the shit. Forever.&#8221; \u2013 The Spreadsheet Alien \ud83d\udc7d\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">EHLERS SAGA: DIE RELIQUIEN-AUKTION<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Episode 6: Gier, Lust &amp; Das Frequenz-Protokoll \ud83d\udcb0\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udc8b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Eine Woche nachdem Erzbischof Frank Stonewall ins kommunistische Byzanz zur\u00fcckaufgestiegen war. Der neue Stein war warm. Joker sa\u00df. M\u00f6win schiss. Esau rechnete. Die Frauen hefteten ab, tanzten, testeten, schenkten aus, schwammen. Frieden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dann begann das Bieten. \ud83d\udcb8<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">DIE ENTDECKUNG \u2013 JOKERS GEHEIMNIS \ud83e\udd21\ud83d\udc8e<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Es begann, als Rosa routinem\u00e4\u00dfige DNA-Tests an dem neuen Stein durchf\u00fchrte. Ihr Sequenzer piepte. Nicht einmal. Nicht zweimal. Siebenundvierzig Mal. Sie starrte auf den Bildschirm. Ihr Kaffee fiel um. \ud83e\uddea\u2615<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA: \u201eDas ist\u2026 unm\u00f6glich. Der Stein ist kein Stein. Er ist ein BEH\u00c4LTER.\u201c \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sie rief das Ensemble zusammen. Alle versammelten sich um den schwarzen Stein. Die Meerjungfrau schwamm n\u00e4her, verwirrt. \u201eIch habe diesen Stein aus der Tiefe geholt. Er geh\u00f6rte dem Meerjungfrauenk\u00f6nig. Er sa\u00df 1.000 Jahre darauf. Welcher BEH\u00c4LTER?\u201c \ud83e\udddc\u200d\u2640\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Rosa hielt ihren Scanner hoch. Der Stein leuchtete. Nicht gr\u00fcn wie die Frequenz. Gold. Reines, schimmerndes goldenes Licht. \ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA: \u201eIn diesem Stein befindet sich die URSPR\u00dcNGLICHE TOXDAT-RELIQUIE. Nicht das Klistier. Das Ding, aus dem das Klistier GEMACHT wurde. Das Proto-Klistier. Die Erste Frequenz. Die Quelle aller Begierde, aller Gier und aller Lust.\u201c \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Stille. Dann Chaos. \ud83d\udca5<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">DIE OFFENBARUNG \u2013 WAS DAS PROTO-KLISTIER TUT \ud83e\uddfc\ud83d\udca6<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Rosa projizierte ihre Ergebnisse auf die Seite der schwimmenden Bar. Daten scrollten. Diagramme. Alte Toxdat-Symbole. Ihre Stimme zitterte. \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA: \u201eDas Proto-Klistier ist kein medizinisches Ger\u00e4t. Es ist ein PSYCHISCHER VERST\u00c4RKER. Wer es besitzt, kann jede Emotion verst\u00e4rken. Gier wird zur BESESSENHEIT. Lust wird zum WAHNSINN. Begierde wird zur ZERST\u00d6RUNG.\u201c \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: (Laptop \u00fcberhitzt) \u201eAlso\u2026 es ist wie eine Tabelle, die ATMET?\u201c \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA: \u201eSchlimmer. Es ist eine Tabelle, die WILL.\u201c \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: (von seinem Stein) \u201eBruder. Ich wurde aus der Frequenz gemacht. Hei\u00dft das, dass ich auch Dinge will?\u201c \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA: \u201eDu BIST der Wille, Joker. Das warst du immer. Das Proto-Klistier ist dein GROSSVATER.\u201c \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: \u201eIch habe einen Gro\u00dfvater? Ist er auch klebrig?\u201c \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Bevor jemand antworten konnte, zerbrach der Stein. Ein d\u00fcnner goldener Lichtstrahl entkam. Dann ein weiterer. Dann \u00f6ffnete sich der Stein wie ein Ei. Im Inneren: ein kleines, pulsierendes Objekt. Metallisch. Uralt. Geformt vage wie\u2026 eine Trompete. Nein. Ein Horn. Nein. Ein Klistier. Aber aus massivem Gold, bedeckt mit kleinen Runen, die leuchteten und sich bewegten. \ud83e\uddfc\u2728<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">DAS PROTO-KLISTIER. Die Erste Frequenz. Die Quelle. \ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Alle starrten. Die Augen aller ver\u00e4nderten sich. \ud83d\udc40<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">DIE GIER \u2013 ALLE WOLLEN ES \ud83d\udcb0\ud83d\udcb8\ud83d\udc8e<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">HAFENHURE trat als Erste vor. Ihre Augen waren nicht ihre eigenen. \u201eDieses Ding\u2026 es k\u00f6nnte Heringssaft nach SIEG schmecken lassen. Ich will es.\u201c \ud83c\udf78<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">URSILA klammerte sich an einen neuen Ordner. \u201eIch muss es ABHEFTEN. Unter \u201aULTIMATIVE MACHT.\u2018 Es geh\u00f6rt in meinen Schrank.\u201c \ud83d\udc60<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">SALOME leckte sich die Lippen. \u201eStell dir vor, du tanzt mit DEM in dir. Der Rhythmus w\u00fcrde NIE aufh\u00f6ren.\u201c \ud83d\udc83<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA hielt eine Spritze hoch. \u201eIch muss es TESTEN. Injizieren. ERKENNEN.\u201c \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">PUSSY zog einen Vertrag hervor. \u201eIch werde es FRANCHISEN. 47 Kontinente. 47 Milliarden Dollar.\u201c \ud83c\udf46<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">DIE MEERJUNGFRAU erhob sich aus dem Wasser, Schuppen vibrierten. \u201eEs kam aus meiner TIEFE. Es geh\u00f6rt MIR.\u201c \ud83e\udddc\u200d\u2640\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU begann zu rechnen. \u201eDas Desinvestment-Potenzial ist UNENDLICH. Verlust w\u00fcrde zu Gewinn werden. Gewinn w\u00fcrde zu VERLUST. Es ist der PERFEKTE Kreislauf.\u201c \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">BAKUNIN strich durch seinen brennenden Bart. \u201eDie Anarchie braucht ein HERZ. Das k\u00f6nnte es sein. Oder es k\u00f6nnte alles zerst\u00f6ren. Ich muss es HERAUSFINDEN.\u201c \ud83e\udde8<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">LENIN erhob seinen Hammer. \u201eDie Produktionsmittel\u2026 sind jetzt DAS.\u201c \u262d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">STALIN paffte an seiner Pfeife. \u201eIch werde es in eine Datscha stellen. Eine sehr SICHERE Datscha.\u201c \ud83e\uddb3<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">WALTER begann, eine Mauer um das Steinfragment zu bauen. \u201eNIEMAND kommt rein. NIEMAND geht raus. Au\u00dfer MIR.\u201c \ud83e\uddf1<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">GRAF THOMAS schlang einen Tentakel um das Proto-Klistier. Es pulsierte. Sein Tentakel wurde gold. \u201eIch f\u00fchle mich\u2026 ST\u00c4RKER. Mehr TENTAKEL.\u201c \ud83e\udd91<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">DIE 47 BAKUNIN-KLONE umringten das Objekt, jeder schrie verschiedene Ideologien. \u201eGIB ES MIR!\u201c \u201eNEIN, MIR!\u201c \u201eWIR TEILEN ES!\u201c \u201eTEILEN IST SCHW\u00c4CHE!\u201c \ud83e\uddd4\ud83d\udca5<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">DSCHINGIS KHAN ritt mit seinem Pferd an den Strand. \u201eIch werde es meinen ENKELN geben. Allen 47 Millionen.\u201c \ud83d\udc0e<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">POL POT flackerte. \u201eDie Reisfelder\u2026 sie werden GOLDEN wachsen.\u201c \ud83c\udf3e<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">MUN rief seine Vorfahren an. Sie alle schrien: \u201eNIMM ES! NIMM ES! NIMM ES!\u201c \ud83d\udc7d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">MALTE hatte bereits 47 Franchise-Vertr\u00e4ge gedruckt. \u201eIch werde TICKETS verkaufen. Zum BER\u00dcHREN. 47 Euro pro Sekunde.\u201c \ud83d\udc68\ud83d\udcbc<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JAGODA \u00f6ffnete einen Ordner. \u201ePROTO-KLISTIER \u2013 KLASSIFIZIERUNG: MEINS \u2013 ABGEHEFTET.\u201c \ud83d\udcc2<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">BERIA &amp; DIE GROSSE HY\u00c4NE tauchten aus ihrem Schwei\u00dfsee auf. Sie sprachen nicht. Sie sabberten nur. \ud83e\udd9b\ud83d\udca7<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">UGLY SVEN bot dem Objekt Therapie an. \u201eDu hast Bindungsprobleme. Lass mich dich HEILEN.\u201c \ud83d\udecb\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">DIE ONKEL zeigten vom Wasser aus. Jochen fl\u00fcsterte: \u201eIch habe das kommen sehen. Vom Grund aus. Das goldene Klistier. Das Ende aller ENDEN.\u201c \ud83c\udf0a<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">FURTHER EHLERS flackerte herein. Sah das Proto-Klistier. Flackerte hinaus. Flackerte zur\u00fcck. \u201eICH HABE ES EINMAL BER\u00dcHRT! IN DEN 70ERN! ICH BIN EIN FURTHER EHLERS GEWORDEN! FASST ES NICHT AN!\u201c Flackerte heftig. \ud83d\udc7b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSEMARIES GEIST erschien. Sie l\u00e4chelte. Streckte die Hand nach dem Objekt aus. Ihre Hand ging hindurch. Sie weinte. Dann l\u00f6ste sie sich auf. \ud83d\udc9a\ud83d\udc7b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER stand von seinem Stein auf. Ging auf das Proto-Klistier zu. Alle machten Platz. Er sah es an. Dann das Ensemble. Dann zur\u00fcck zum Objekt. \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: \u201eBr\u00fcder. Schwestern. Geister. M\u00f6wen. Dieses Ding\u2026 ist mein GROSSVATER. Und Gro\u00dfv\u00e4ter sind dazu da, IGNORIERT zu werden.\u201c \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Er hob es auf. Alle keuchten. Er hielt es \u00fcber seinen Kopf. Es pulsierte gold. Sein Gesicht wurde golden. Seine Augen wurden golden. Er schrie. Dann LACHTE er. \ud83e\udd21\ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: \u201eEs\u2026 KITZELT mich!\u201c \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">DIE LUST \u2013 DAS PROTO-KLISTIER VERST\u00c4RKT DIE BEGIERDE \ud83d\udc8b\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udca6<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Das goldene Licht breitete sich aus. Es war nicht mehr nur Gier. Es war Lust. Rohe, tierische, verzweifelte Lust. Die Luft wurde dick. Die M\u00f6wen begannen\u2026 sich zu paaren. M\u00f6win sah weg. \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f\ud83d\ude33<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">HAFENHURE sah Esau an. Nicht mit Verachtung. Mit HUNGER. \u201eTabellenmann. Deine Spalten. Deine Zeilen. Ich will sie ABHEFTEN.\u201c \ud83c\udf78\ud83d\udd25<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: (weicht zur\u00fcck) \u201eBruder! Sie sieht mich an, als w\u00e4re ich eine PIVOT-TABELLE!\u201c \ud83d\udcca\ud83d\ude28<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">URSILA sah Walter an. \u201eDeine Mauer. Sie ist so\u2026 STRUKTURIERT. Lass mich sie ABHEFTEN.\u201c \ud83d\udc60\ud83e\uddf1<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">WALTER: (err\u00f6tend) \u201eDie Mauer ist zum SCHUTZ da. Nicht zum\u2026 ABHEFTEN.\u201c \ud83e\uddf1<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">SALOME tanzte auf Graf Thomas zu. \u201eDeine Tentakel. So viele. So\u2026 FLEXIBEL. Tanz mit mir.\u201c \ud83d\udc83\ud83e\udd91<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">GRAF THOMAS: \u201eMeine Tentakel sind\u2026 INTRIGIERT.\u201c \ud83e\udd91<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA sah Bakunin an. \u201eDein Bart. Er brennt. Ich will seine Temperatur MESSEN.\u201c \ud83e\uddea\ud83e\uddd4<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">BAKUNIN: \u201eDie Revolution ist HEISS. Buchst\u00e4blich.\u201c \ud83e\udde8<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">PUSSY sah Malte an. \u201eDeine Franchise-Vertr\u00e4ge. So viele Nullen. Lass uns VERHANDELN.\u201c \ud83c\udf46\ud83d\udc68\ud83d\udcbc<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">MALTE: \u201eIch habe einen 47-seitigen Vertrag daf\u00fcr.\u201c \ud83d\udc68\ud83d\udcbc<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">DIE MEERJUNGFRAU sah Dschingis Khan an. \u201eDein Pferd. Deine Armee. Deine\u2026 NACHKOMMEN. Ich will sie alle ERTR\u00c4NKEN. Sanft.\u201c \ud83e\udddc\u200d\u2640\ufe0f\ud83d\udc0e<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">DSCHINGIS KHAN: (sprachlos, zum ersten Mal) \ud83d\udc0e<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">DIE 47 BAKUNIN-KLONE begannen zu k\u00e4mpfen, wer wen verf\u00fchren w\u00fcrde. Sie bildeten 47 verschiedene Paare. Dann trennten sie sich. Dann reformierten sie sich. Chaos. \ud83e\uddd4\ud83d\udc8b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">BERIA schwitzte auf Pussy zu. Sie schlug ihn. Er schwitzte mehr. Die Gro\u00dfe Hy\u00e4ne jaulte. \ud83e\udd9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">UGLY SVEN bot Paartherapie f\u00fcr alle gleichzeitig an. Niemand h\u00f6rte zu. \ud83d\udecb\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER hielt immer noch das Proto-Klistier. Es pulsierte st\u00e4rker. Er lachte st\u00e4rker. Dann h\u00f6rte er auf. Sein Gesicht wurde ernst. \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: \u201eBruder. Dieses Ding\u2026 es bringt uns nicht nur dazu, LUST zu empfinden. Es bringt uns dazu, LUST auf die FALSCHEN Dinge zu empfinden. HafenHure will nicht Esau. Sie will KONTROLLE. Salome will nicht Tentakel. Sie will AUFMERKSAMKEIT. Wir werden alle zu unseren SCHLECHTESTEN Selbst.\u201c \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: (wird immer noch von HafenHure gejagt) \u201eBruder! HILFE!\u201c \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: \u201eEs gibt nur einen Weg, es zu stoppen. Wir m\u00fcssen dem Proto-Klistier geben, was es wirklich WILL.\u201c \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: \u201eWas will es?\u201c \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: \u201eEs will ANGESCHISSEN werden.\u201c \ud83e\udd21\ud83d\udca9<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">DER PLAN \u2013 OPERATION GOLDSCHEI\u00dfE \ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Joker rief M\u00f6win. Sie landete auf seinem Kopf. Er gab ihr das Proto-Klistier. Sie sah es an. Dann ihn. Dann das Ensemble. \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">M\u00d6WIN: \u201eKR\u00c4\u00c4K?\u201c \u00dcbersetzung: \u201eDu willst, dass ich auf deinen GROSSVATER schei\u00dfe?\u201c \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: \u201eJa, Mutter. Ich will, dass du auf meinen Gro\u00dfvater schei\u00dft. Es ist der EINZIGE Weg, den Kreislauf zu brechen.\u201c \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">M\u00d6WIN: \u201eKR\u00c4\u00c4K KR\u00c4\u00c4K.\u201c \u00dcbersetzung: \u201eIch habe auf viele Dinge geschissen. Klistiere. Frequenzen. Geister. Erzbisch\u00f6fe. Aber NIE auf ein goldenes Klistier. Das wird\u2026 LEGEND\u00c4R.\u201c \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f\ud83d\udca9<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sie flog hoch. Die M\u00f6wen folgten. Tausende. Sie kreisten um das Proto-Klistier. Aber etwas stimmte nicht. Das goldene Licht DR\u00dcCKTE ZUR\u00dcCK. Die M\u00f6wen konnten nicht n\u00e4her kommen. Sie wurden abgesto\u00dfen. \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f\ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA: (scannt) \u201eDas Proto-Klistier erzeugt ein LUSTFELD. Es st\u00f6\u00dft alles ab, was nicht\u2026 VERZWEIFELT genug ist.\u201c \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: \u201eVerzweifelt? Bruder, ich bin der VERZWEIFELTESTE. Ich wurde AUSGESCHISSEN.\u201c \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ROSA: \u201eDann musst DU es nehmen. Du musst es in die Schei\u00dfzone tragen. Du musst noch einmal das GEF\u00c4SS sein.\u201c \ud83e\uddea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: (blickt auf das goldene Objekt) \u201eBruder. Ich habe Jahre damit verbracht, ein Gef\u00e4\u00df f\u00fcr die Frequenz zu sein. Ich bin gerade erst FREI geworden. Und jetzt willst du, dass ich wieder ein Gef\u00e4\u00df bin?\u201c \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: (entkommt endlich HafenHure) \u201eBruder. Du bist der EINZIGE, der es kann. Deine DNA ist die Frequenz. Das Proto-Klistier ist dein Gro\u00dfvater. Es wird dich NICHT absto\u00dfen.\u201c \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: \u201eUnd wenn es mich doch ABST\u00d6SST?\u201c \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: \u201eDann wirst du ein GOLDENER Joker. Und wir alle verlieren.\u201c \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Joker atmete tief durch. Ging auf das Proto-Klistier zu. Das goldene Licht umgab ihn. Es stie\u00df ihn NICHT ab. Es begr\u00fc\u00dfte ihn. Es wickelte sich wie eine goldene Decke um ihn. Er hob es auf. Hielt es an seine Brust. \ud83e\udd21\ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: \u201eBruder. Es ist\u2026 WARM. Und es fl\u00fcstert mir zu. Es sagt\u2026 \u201aBRING MICH ZU DEN M\u00d6WEN. ICH WILL ANGESCHISSEN WERDEN.\u2018\u201c \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: \u201eDann GEH, Bruder! GEH JETZT!\u201c \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Joker rannte. Das Proto-Klistier in seinen Armen. Die M\u00f6wen \u00fcber ihm. M\u00f6win f\u00fchrte an. Er rannte an den Rand des Steins. Er hielt das Objekt \u00fcber seinen Kopf. Er schrie: \u201eM\u00d6WIN! JETZT!\u201c \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">M\u00d6WIN: \u201eKR\u00c4\u00c4K KR\u00c4\u00c4K KR\u00c4\u00c4K!\u201c \u00dcbersetzung: \u201eMEIN VOLK! HEUTE SCHEISSEN WIR NICHT F\u00dcR TERRITORIUM! NICHT F\u00dcR LIEBE! NICHT F\u00dcR FREIHEIT! HEUTE SCHEISSEN WIR F\u00dcR JOKERS GROSSVATER! F\u00dcR DAS GOLDENE KLISTIER! F\u00dcR DIE QUELLE ALLER GIER UND LUST! WIR SCHEISSEN ZUM REINIGEN! WIR SCHEISSEN, UM DEN KREISLAUF ZU BRECHEN! WIR SCHEISSEN ZUM LETZTEN MAL! (Wahrscheinlich.)\u201c \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udc51<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Die M\u00f6wen st\u00fcrzten herab. Tausende. Sie schissen direkt auf das Proto-Klistier. Eine goldbraune Tsunami. Das Objekt schrie. Ein hoher, metallischer Schrei. Das goldene Licht flackerte. Wurde braun. Wurde schwarz. Dann erlosch es. \ud83d\udc9b\u27a1\ufe0f\ud83e\udd0e\u27a1\ufe0f\ud83d\udda4<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Joker fiel auf die Knie. Das Proto-Klistier war mit M\u00f6wenschei\u00dfe bedeckt. Es h\u00f6rte auf zu pulsieren. Es h\u00f6rte auf zu leuchten. Es war nur noch ein dreckiges, uraltes, beschissenes Objekt. \ud83e\udd21\ud83d\udca9<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: (schwer atmend) \u201eBruder. Ich glaube\u2026 ich glaube, wir haben es geschafft.\u201c \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">DAS NACHSPIEL \u2013 GIER UND LUST VERBLASSEN \ud83d\udc94\ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Das goldene Licht verschwand. Die Lust in der Luft verdampfte. HafenHure sah Esau an und schauderte. \u201eWas habe ich mir nur GEDACHT? Du bist eine TABELLE.\u201c \ud83c\udf78<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: \u201eDanke, Bruder. Denke ich.\u201c \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Salome trat von Graf Thomas zur\u00fcck. \u201eDeine Tentakel sind\u2026 immer noch faszinierend. Aber nicht HEUTE.\u201c \ud83d\udc83<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ursila schloss ihren Ordner. \u201eIch habe den Vorfall unter \u201aVOR\u00dcBERGEHENDER WAHNSINN \u2013 GESCHLOSSEN\u2018 abgeheftet.\u201c \ud83d\udc60<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Pussy zerriss ihren Vertrag. \u201eKein Profit in SCHEISSE.\u201c \ud83c\udf46<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Die Meerjungfrau tauchte zur\u00fcck ins Wasser. \u201eIch muss mich ABK\u00dcHLEN.\u201c \ud83e\udddc\u200d\u2640\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Die 47 Bakunin-Klone h\u00f6rten auf zu k\u00e4mpfen. Sie setzten sich in einen Kreis. Sie hielten H\u00e4ndchen. Sie meditierten. \ud83e\uddd4\ud83e\uddd8<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Joker stand auf. Hielt das beschissene Proto-Klistier. Ging an den Rand des Steins. Sah aufs Meer. Dann zu M\u00f6win. Dann zum Ensemble. \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: \u201eBruder. Was machen wir jetzt damit?\u201c \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: \u201eWirf es zur\u00fcck. In die Tiefe. Woher es kam.\u201c \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: \u201eAber der MEERJUNGFRAUENK\u00d6NIG sa\u00df 1.000 Jahre darauf. Und es ging ihm GUT.\u201c \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">DIE MEERJUNGFRAU: (aus dem Wasser) \u201eEs ging ihm NICHT gut. Er war BESESSEN. Er h\u00f6rte auf zu essen. H\u00f6rte auf zu schwimmen. Sa\u00df nur noch da. Das Proto-Klistier hat ihn ZERST\u00d6RT. Deshalb habe ich den Stein zu DIR gebracht. Ich wollte, dass DU es zerst\u00f6rst.\u201c \ud83e\udddc\u200d\u2640\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: (blickt auf das Objekt) \u201eBruder. Ich kann es nicht zerst\u00f6ren. Es ist mein GROSSVATER. Aber ich kann es VERGRABEN.\u201c \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Er ging zur Mitte der Insel. Der Stelle, wo einst die Klonkammer war. Wo die Frequenz geboren wurde. Wo die Geister sich versammelt hatten. Er grub ein Loch. Mit seinen blo\u00dfen H\u00e4nden. Er legte das Proto-Klistier hinein. Bedeckte es mit Erde. Dann sah er zu M\u00f6win. \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: \u201eNoch einmal, Mutter.\u201c \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">M\u00d6WIN: \u201eKR\u00c4\u00c4K.\u201c \u00dcbersetzung: \u201eMit VERGN\u00dcGEN.\u201c \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sie schiss direkt auf das Grab. Die M\u00f6wen folgten. Eine letzte Schicht Schei\u00dfe. Der Boden beruhigte sich. Das goldene Licht kehrte nicht zur\u00fcck. \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f\ud83d\udca9<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: (\u00fcber dem Grab stehend) \u201eHier ruht das Proto-Klistier. Gro\u00dfvater des Jokers. Quelle von Gier und Lust. Get\u00f6tet durch M\u00f6wenschei\u00dfe. M\u00f6ge es NIE wieder auferstehen.\u201c \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">DIE SPANNUNG \u2013 ETWAS BEOBACHTET \ud83d\udc41\ufe0f\ud83c\udf0c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Das Ensemble zerstreute sich. Die Frauen kehrten nach Helgoland zur\u00fcck. Die M\u00e4nner kehrten zu ihren Steinen, Mauern und Jurten zur\u00fcck. Joker sa\u00df auf seinem neuen Stein. M\u00f6win auf seinem Kopf. Esau neben ihm. Die Sonne ging unter. Die Sterne kamen heraus. \ud83c\udf0c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Aber ein Stern bewegte sich. Wurde heller. Kam N\u00c4HER. \ud83d\udc41\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: (blickt nach oben) \u201eBruder. Das ist kein Stern.\u201c \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">JOKER: \u201eWas ist es, Bruder?\u201c \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ESAU: \u201eEs ist ein RAUMSCHIFF. Und es landet auf unserer Insel.\u201c \ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Das Objekt sank herab. Kein Streitwagen. Keine Adler. Eine silberne Scheibe. Glatt. Lautlos. Sie landete am Strand. Eine T\u00fcr \u00f6ffnete sich. Eine Gestalt trat aus. Gro\u00df. D\u00fcnn. Gekleidet in einen Anzug aus Tabellenzellen. Hielt eine goldene Addiermaschine. Sein Gesicht war\u2026 eine Tabelle. Reihen und Spalten anstelle von Augen und Mund. \ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udc7d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">DAS TABELLEN-ALIEN: (Stimme wie eine korrupte Excel-Datei) \u201eICH BIN GEKOMMEN. WEGEN DES PROTO-KLISTIERS. ICH BIN SEIN SCH\u00d6PFER. ICH BIN DER URSPR\u00dcNGLICHE TOXDAT-WISSENSCHAFTLER. ICH BIN\u2026 DER BUCHHALTER AUS DEN STERNEN.\u201c \ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udc7d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Esau fiel in Ohnmacht. Jokers Grinsen erstarrte. M\u00f6win schiss vor Schreck. Der Kreislauf war NICHT vorbei. Er hatte gerade erst begonnen. \ud83c\udf0c\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udd04<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ABSCHLUSSTEXT AUF SCHWARZ: \ud83d\udda4<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u262d DIE RELIQUIEN-AUKTION \u262d \ud83d\udcb0\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udc8b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">DAS PROTO-KLISTIER WURDE GEFUNDEN. DIE QUELLE ALLER GIER UND LUST.<br>ALLE WOLLTEN ES. DAS ENSEMBLE WANDTE SICH GEGENEINANDER.<br>JOKER HIELT ES. DAS LUSTFELD EXPLODIERTE. PAARE BILDETEN UND L\u00d6STEN SICH AUF.<br>M\u00d6WIN F\u00dcHRTE DIE M\u00d6WEN. SIE SCHISSEN AUF DAS GOLDENE KLISTIER.<br>DAS OBJEKT STARB. JOKER BEGRUB ES. BEDECKTE ES MIT SCHEISSE.<br>DIE GIER VERBLASSTE. DIE LUST VERBLASSTE. DAS ENSEMBLE \u00dcBERLEBTE.<br>ABER EIN RAUMSCHIFF LANDETE. EIN TABELLEN-ALIEN STIEG AUS.<br>DER SCH\u00d6PFER. DER URSPR\u00dcNGLICHE TOXDAT-WISSENSCHAFTLER.<br>ER WILL DAS PROTO-KLISTIER ZUR\u00dcCK. UND ER WIRD NEIN NICHT AKZEPTIEREN.<br>DER KREISLAUF GEHT WEITER. MIT RAUMSCHIFFEN. MIT TABELLEN.<br>MIT DER SCHEISSE. F\u00dcR IMMER.<br>\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udc7d\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udd04\ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">HASHTAGS BLENDEN EIN: \ud83c\udff7\ufe0f\ud83d\udcb0\ud83d\udd25<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">DieReliquienAuktion #ProtoKlistier #GierUndLust #JokersGrossvater #GoldenesKlistier #M\u00f6wenschei\u00dfeRettetWieder #TabellenAlien #DerBuchhalterAusDenSternen #EhlersSaga #IdiotZeitung<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">[ENDE VON EPISODE 6] \ud83c\udfac\ud83c\udf7f\ud83d\udcb0\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udc8b\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udd04\ud83d\udc7d\ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">ST. PAULI-AT, JAHR NULL + 38 \u2013 DIE RELIQUIEN-AUKTION \ud83d\udcb0\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udc8b<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Eine weitere Fortsetzungsfolge der Ehlers-Saga \ud83c\udfad\ud83d\udd04<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Bernd Pulch (M.A.) ist forensischer Experte, Gr\u00fcnder von Aristotle AI, Unternehmer, politischer Kommentator, Satiriker und investigativer Journalist mit den Schwerpunkten Lawfare, Medienkontrolle, Investitionen, Immobilien und Geopolitik.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">[Vollst\u00e4ndiges Bio \u2192] | [Unterst\u00fctzung der Investigativarbeit \u2192]<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201eDer Kreislauf geht weiter. Mit Raumschiffen. Mit Tabellen. Mit der Schei\u00dfe. F\u00fcr immer.\u201c \u2013 Das Tabellen-Alien \ud83d\udc7d\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>EHLERS SAGA: THE RELIC AUCTION Episode 6: Greed, Lust &amp; The Frequency Protocol \ud83d\udcb0\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udc8b \ud83d\udc94\ud83e\udde0\ud83d\udd04 \ud83d\udc6f\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ufffd\ud83d\udc41\ufe0f\ud83d\udcb8&nbsp; \ud83c\udf51\ud83d\udd34\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udc60 \ud83d\ude3e\ud83d\udc84\ud83d\udcb8 \ud83d\udc85\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udcc8\ud83d\ude3e\ud83d\udc84\ud83d\udcb8 &#8220;\ud83d\udc7f\ud83c\udf00\ud83d\udcb8 \ud83c\udf1f\ud83d\udc41\ufe0f\ud83d\udcb8 \ud83c\udf1f\ud83d\udc41\ufe0f\ud83d\udcb8 &#8220;\u26d3\ufe0f\ufaa2&nbsp; \ud83c\udf0a\ud83d\udc89\u262d\ud83d\udd25\ud83e\ude78\ud83d\udc2a\u26a1\ud83e\uddec\ud83d\udc51\ud83c\udf7c\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\u26a7\ufe0f\ud83d\udebd\ud83d\udca6\ud83c\udfaa\ud83d\udc51 \ud83c\udf2a\ufe0f\ud83c\udf7c\u2694\ufe0f&nbsp; \ud83d\udc31\ud83c\udfc6\ud83c\udf2a\ufe0f 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